Vikings' Key Losses

Just a day earlier, Koren Robinson was telling viewers of Monday Night Football he was a new man. He was no longer a pawn in alcohol’s evil game.

I guess that he was only talking about Monday night since he was arrested Tuesday night under the suspicion of driving while intoxicated. Sometimes timing is everything. If you were to choose when to be arrested for drunken driving, I’m willing to bet you probably wouldn’t want it to be the first night after the game you told the audience of ESPN’s first Monday Night Football game you were done. Terrible timing.

Koren Robinson could be suspended for the entire season after entering the NFL’s substance abuse program with a four game suspension during the 2004 season. Thus far in his career, Robinson has been arrested for a DWI, a DUI, and been through two rehabs at alcohol treatment facilities.

Initially, Robinson was caught speeding by two officers but did not pull over. Koren led the officers on a ten mile chase into the city of Mankato. He then stopped and was cooperative with the police. His stunt might lead to an additional charge of fleeing the police.

If Robinson were to be lost for the season, Troy Williamson will be the Vikings new number one receiver with Marcus Robinson stepping into the starting spot. Travis Taylor will take over the number three position.

That was not the end of the bad news for Viking fans on Tuesday. First round pick Chad Greenway is out for the year following a knee injury. Reportedly, Greenway tore a ligament in his left knee. I actually feel sorry for the Vikings on this one; preseason injuries always suck but even more so when it happened on a special teams play. I was really looking forward to watching Chad, too (this would have been an all-Chad article if not for Koren’s arrest).

Timing is everything, whether it’s a DWI or an injury.

Monday Night Football Debut

I was able to persist through the excruciatingly dull (yet painful) preseason football game (or at least 3/4 of it) in the name of Tony Kornheiser (a big fan). With my handy-dandy notebook and a #2 pencil in hand, I set out to recap all of the meaningful events of the Vikings-Raiders Monday Night Football game.

Randy Moss was back in town for the first time since being traded to Oakland prior to the 2005 season. The big question leading up to the Monday game was how Minnesota fans would treat Moss upon his return. I have had some discussions with a few friends of mine that are Viking fans. The intelligible fan (whom I will just designate Fan A) felt that Moss’s accomplishments needed to be recognized and applauded (calling him a good yet misunderstood guy). The unintelligible fan (whom I will designate Psycho) sad Moss is gay and “sucks.”

Needless to say, the majority of Viking Nation were intelligible fans. Some even sported signs welcoming him home; “MN=Moss Country.” Randy Moss was given the respect he deserved for being a spectacular players for several years. There is nothing scarier than a deep ball thrown in his direction.

As for the on field play, this game was really a match of quarterbacks; the good and bad. Starting the game for the Raiders was Aaron Brooks. He didn’t throw the ball behind him in this game, but that doesn’t mean he was good. In fact, Aaron’s 1-7 performance was so hideous I am dropping him in my fantasy football league as I write this sentence (Brooks is now 2-10 during the preseason). You know things aren’t going well when your superstar wide receiver (that would be the aforementioned Randy Moss) publically endorses the second stringer Andrew Walter (more on him later). All told, it was a forgettable day for Aaron Brooks.

Coming in to spell Aaron Brooks was second year player Andrew Walter. He was injured for most of last season, but was highly touted by Raider management coming in to last season (they felt he was the #1 QB prospect in the 2005 draft). He started off very well when he threw a very nice touchdown pass. Unfortunately, it was almost all down hill from there. Walter was picked off by Cedric Griffin on an under thrown pass. When the Raiders got the ball back, Andrew Walter turned the ball over yet again on an arrant pass. Nevertheless, he showed he has the ability to take the starting job away from Aaron Brooks.

Now, rewind back to that fact that Randy Moss is publically endorsing Andrew Walter. In an interview with Suzy Kolber, he stated that Andrew Walter was a very good quarterback right now. Moss liked the fact that Walter can throw the deep ball. My favorite tidbit was when Tony Kornheiser pointed out what “I wouldn’t mind having [Andrew Walter] as my QB” means for Aaron Brooks. Start the quarterback controversy now. I will bet that Brooks will be benched by the end of the season.

As for the Minnesota quarterbacks, the boys in the booth let it be known that Brad Johnson is one of the few players currently in the NFL that led his team to a Super Bowl win. Couple that with the fact that Johnson was the 39th highest paid quarterback (now 40th since that pretty boy Matt Leinart finally got a contract signed), it seemed that the announcers were becoming Johnson’s agents (except one bearded fellow who pointed out that Brad is old... really, really, really old). His actual play was nothing spectacular, but was exactly what you expect out of him; solid.

The real show stopper for the Vikings at the quarterback position was their second round pick out of Alabama State. Tarvaris Jackson was exactly what Johnson isn’t; spectacular (but not yet solid). He was Michael Vick-esque but with passing ability. I was as dazzled by the touch he shows as I was by his moves in the open field. Tarvaris played exactly like he did in the game I caught on ESPN last season. He is the real deal as the quarterback of the future for Minnesota.

Like all exhibition football games, the score doesn’t matter. From what I saw, the NFC North is really going to be tight between the Bears and the Vikings. You always here the analysts saying the valuable running backs are the ones that can make a play that would go for a loss into a run for a minimal gain. Chester Taylor will be that running back for the Vikings. The previously mentioned Brad Johnson will be the leader Brad Childress is looking for (more on that later). The receiving corps, although missing the stand out player, is going to be well off with Troy Williamson and Koren Robinson (whom I would like to happily announce have moved to numbers in the 80s) with Marcus Robinson as a veteran.

The biggest strength I see for the Vikings is the defensive line. Kenechi Udeze made Robert Gallery look like a fool (that’s coming from an Iowan). Erasmus James was able to put pressure on the QB at the opposite end. And the meat of the line, the interior with Pat and Kevin Williams, was spectacular. These four will be like hell for opposing lineman this season. Really, the Vikings will win games in the offensive and defensive trenches this season. Not much more can be said about the offensive line (assuming Matt Birk is healthy the entire season).

One of the interesting pieces of information we were provided with was from a conversation with Brad Childress. In it he says he traded Culpepper because of differences in opinion, and their inability to see eye to eye. What I found interesting was the fact that Childress specifically said he traded Culpepper. If he is unsucessful, I could see Viking fans turning on him quick, especially due to the fact that he traded their star quarterback. I don’t see that being a huge problem (I think Childress is going to be a great fit in Minnesota).

My prediction for the Vikings is 10-6 with a playoff birth.

As for the Raiders, I like the way they are rebuilding the franchise, but the results just won’t be there. Their offensive line performed on a Houston-Texans-in-their-inaugural-season level. Robert Gallery wasn’t there only problem; they basically all sucked. The quarterbacks weren’t able to get the ball in the hands of Randy Moss. The defensive wasn’t able to stay on sides. The only real players that stood out in a positive light were LaMont Jordan on a few runs and Stanford Routt in coverage (but there are 22 players on a field at a time; I can’t see them all). As for the Raiders’ record, I would say that, at best, a 6-10 record is achievable.

As for some bad news regarding a former Iowa football standout, Chad Greenway was forced to leave the game with a knee injury he received on a special teams play. He made on tackle in the game before bowing out of the game. Really, if you were tuning in to this game to catch some of your former Iowa Hawkeye stand outs player (like me), it was a terrible day between Greenway’s injury and Gallery sucking it up. There is good new; Abdul Hodge got a shout out from Mike Tirico for his great showing in Green Bay’s training back (letting A.J. Hawk see who should have been the first rounder).

For me, the real reason to tune in to a meaningless preseason game between two teams I couldn’t really care less about was Tony Kornheiser. The most knowledgeable announcer he is not, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t do a good job. I loved the fact that he would make some funny comments with some intelligence behind it. It seemed like I would be thinking about the exact same things as he would (like when he pointed out that Ryan Longwell didn’t even try making a tackle on a give off, instead just doing a typical kicker jab step towards the ball carrier and then shying away from contact). Here were some of his best quips during the three quarters in which I watched.

No less than two minutes in to the show, the boys in the booth are talking about being the announcer for Monday Night Football. Tony pokes fun at himself, asking, “I made it to it, can I make it through it?” (I liked this once since he is often times placed on “vacation” by ESPN whenever he bad mouths the network.)

Mike Tirico talked about Minnesota being the land of 10,000 lakes when Tony said, “Won’t see any Viking players on ‘em this year, will ya?”

Mike Tirico sets Tony up by saying, “In comes Andrew Walter, the quarterback some thought could challenge Aaron Brooks.” Tony responses with a “And wouldn’t they say even more now.”

Yet again, Mike Tirico sets Tony up saying Aaron Brooks signed with the Raiders for only $8 million over two years, leaving Tony asking if that is a little much (didn’t get the exact quote, I know, I’m a failure).

My favorite was when Tony got into an argument with Joe Theismann regarding the Raiders’ offensive coordinator. Apparently, he has been out of the NFL for a while now, and he was running a bed and breakfast in Idaho as well as the town as mayor. Joe said that the coordinator was more ready to make an NFL comeback than Joe Gibbs. Tony was besides himself with the fact the guy ran a B&B while being the mayor as well as the fact that Joe was saying Coach Gibbs wasn’t as ready.

But really, some of the most priceless comedy was from Vikings corner back Fred Smoot. He was interviewed on the sideline and was asked about the love boat incident. Smoot hit the ridiculously stupid athlete trifecta. He started out by thanking God for the fact that he was in the best shape of his life. Smoot declined to elaborate on a legal matter. And, most importantly, he spoke in the third person. Someone needs to get tape of it, and put the interview on the Internet.

As for Monday Night Football; it is in capable hands with Tony Kornheiser, Joe Theismann, and Mike Tirico. If only the NFL could get a handle on the ref uniforms.

LenDale Fight

The question marks surrounding LenDale White have only intensified after news came out of Tennessee hinting that LenDale was involved with a fight (if you want to call it that) with one of his teammates during practice.

Apparently, there was a bit of a confrontation between LenDale and several defensive players when he spit in the face of safety Donnie Nickey (enter Keith Bulluck yelling White spit in Nickey’s face). A few players later (after dropping a pass) , LenDale was hit by Cortland Finnegan. Several other players swarmed in; Nickey shoved White in the back while LenDale was elbowing another player. Eventually it was broken up (just like practice a short while later).

Jeff Fisher, ever eager to keep the peace, help an impromptu meeting on the field. After having a real heart-to-heart with the players, he was able to find out what happened, calling the situation a “violation of the code of ethics.”

LenDale White needs to start settling down; you don’t want to be known as the Ryan Leaf of running backs now. With the walk-by-no-comment in your arsenal, you’re only steps away from “Don’t talk to me alright! Knock it off!”

Furthermore, “You’re a rookie, act like it” (courtesy of Sean Salisbury). Going in a quick tangent, Sean Salisbury is good at making the term “rookie” into a derogatory word. I digress...

This latest act has done nothing to help him already faulty image. The character issues were there from the draft; he has done nothing disprove them.

KG's "Clock is Ticking"

The unintentional comedy is at an all-time high in SLAM’s Kevin Garnett interview. Lang Whitaker sat down with KG and was able to get some great information.

The big scoop that was revealed in the interview was that Kevin Garnett wants out of Minnesota if the franchise doesn’t start working towards a championship. KG said, “If you’re not working towards a championship, then why are we in this? I’m in it to win, man, I’m not in it to be coming back talking about next year. I’m 30. I’ve probably got 4 to 5 years, you know what I’m saying? My clock is ticking, man. I’m almost like a woman who’s trying to get pregnant. My years are limited, so my clock is definitely ticking.”

How many times can you say you have heard a superstar athlete compare the end of his career to a woman's "biological clock?" If only I could actually hear him make that analogy.

Laughs were all around when Kevin seemingly struggled through the word "acquisition" (eventually just giving up at "acqui"). "Um…need to make some more acqui…you know, some more transactions, man," slurred KG.

Catch the entire article at the SLAM site. You won't be disappointed, man!

Bending the Rules Around Sponsors

The NCAA is out to shorter college football games, and it’s evident in the rule changes. Really, football games have no business running over three and a half hours (even worse when it passes four hours... I’m talking to you, USC and Texas). But really, is it the actual game play that needs changed?

The rule changes that will be affecting the length of games are Rules 3-2-5 and 3-2-5-e. Rule 3-2-5 states "when the ball is free-kicked, the game clock will be started and subsequently stopped when the ball is dead by rule." Rule 3-2-5-e is as follows: "When Team B is awarded a first down, the clock will be stopped and will start on the ready for play signal."

The rationale behind both is that the rule changes will reduce the length of games (research says Rule 3-2-5-e will shorten games by five minutes).

In my eyes, the NCAA just took the easy way out; the problem is the advertising.

According to this USA Today article, the average televised (in 2003) lasted three hours and twenty-one minutes. In comparison, the average non-televised game was thirteen minutes shorter at three hours and eight minutes. As we can see, it’s not the game that is broken.

Why is it that the sponsors don’t get touched? If the NCAA really wants to keep the games from becoming drawn out, they should shorten the TV timeouts. It’s ridicules that the game and the strategy involved in it will be changed without any cut from the sponsors (I’m not saying I would react like some college coaches who say it will ruin college football as we know it... Oregon’s coach is about as crazy as their uniforms).

What did I expect? Of course, college football is about the money.

Just remember, it’s not the game’s fault, it’s the sponsors’.

Yes! We Tied Real Madrid!

Spanish soccer power Real Madrid was fought to a 1-1 draw by a US team, D.C United. Real Madrid has won the league title for 29 years. D.C United crushed another European team, Glasgow Celtic 4-0.

This was a preseason game game for Madrid just like it was for Chelsea earlier this week. The Spaniards struck first with a goal in the 22nd minute, but the Americans struck back three minutes later.

The whole point of this game was to prove that Americans can play soccer. They were proud of their tie game, showing the world that the World Cup slaughter was just a fluke. I don't think that Madrid played as well as they could have because it was a preseason game. They don't care.

Take the NFL for instance, not many people care about the preseason games; the teams don't even care about preseason games. The point of this game in Madrid's eyes was to try out their newly acquired defenders and forwards. In some moments they showed how skilled they will be this season.

I do have to give a pat on the back to United though. They played an excellent game of defence. Spain had many opportunities to score but the US goal keeper stopped them from going in.

By Alex B.

Clarett's Crazy Cruise

Sometimes even Maurice Clarett does something so idiotic it just makes you shake your head and say, “Holy shit.”

That something happened in the wee morning hours today. Maurice Clarett made an illegal U-turn, and was caught by the police. Instead of pulling over, Maurice thought it was a good idea to try fleeing (knowing what we know now, it wasn’t too bad of an idea).

Big Mo entered the highway with police cruisers and a helicopter hot on his tracks. He then cut across the highway’s median. While fleeing westward, he ran over a spike strip. That essentially ended the chase after just under five minutes as the disgraced star pulled into a restaurant parking lot.

Not so fast; Maurice wasn’t done fighting. Instead of turning himself over to the police, he stayed in his SUV despite several orders from the officers. The officers were forced to “remove” him from his vehicle.

When the police tried using a stun gun to restrain Clarett (who was busy giving officers “problems”), they found he was wearing a bulletproof vest. The officers were forced to use mace on Clarett.

After Maurice Clarett was secured in the police vehicle, his SUV was searched. What they found was, oh, I don’t know, startling (to say the least).

In Maurice Clarett’s vehicle the officers found three loaded handguns and a loaded assault rifle.

Now I ask, what is Maurice Clarett doing with four loaded guns and a bulletproof vest? Unfortunately, only Maurice knows why. I can only hope we find out down the road.

If I were a betting man (which I am), I would say this latest incident effectively ends Maurice’s NFL chances. He wasn’t even good enough to make the Broncos roster minus these latest arrested (he also allegedly robbed a couple at gunpoint outside of the Opium Lounge).

Maurice might be glad to know one thing: “A half-full bottle of vodka was found in the SUV.”

Nice to know the law enforcement are “glass half-full” people... he’ll be spending quite a bit of time with them.

Team USA on Tape Delay

ESPN’s BottomLine was right; the U.S. beat China 119-73 in an exhibition game in Guangshou, China. LeBron James led the Americans in scoring with 22 points while Du Feng (who’s jersey read “F. Du,” which, interestingly enough, sounds better when read aloud) paced the Chinese national team with 18.

The exhibition aired on tape delay on ESPN2; which should also mean “if you want to watch the game without knowing the results in advance, don’t go on the Internet, don’t watch any of the ESPN network, and surly, don’t turn ESPN on minutes before the game starts or else you will mistakenly catch the highlights.” Really, is it that difficult to air the game early in real time? At least get back from commercial breaks on time if it’s on tape delay (which ESPN couldn’t do on numerous occasions). Alas, I digress into actual game coverage...

Coach K started out with a lineup of Gilbert Arenas, Shane Battier, LeBron James, Joe Johnson, and Dwight Howard. Personally, I like the idea of splitting Dwyane and LeBron up. They both are ball dominate players that, in my opinion, don’t work together. This was evident when LeBron started the game forcing shot after shot, some of which fell.

Watching the first quarter, I was pleased with the ball movement by non-Cavalier players (or LeBron). Gilbert Arenas, Joe Johnson, and Kirk Hinrich caught my eye by taking what the defense gave them. They didn’t force their hand; they found the open man (something I was very pleased with).

Call me a homer, but Kirk Hinrich’s scrappy defense was nothing less than spectacular -- less than spectacular could be used to describe LeBron’s defensive tenacity. (Sure, I might be beating up on the future of the NBA, but I think I’ve been every bit as harsh when calling out Dwyane Wade in the past.)

By the end of the first quarter, the outcome of the game was still in question (as “in question” as a game can be when you know the results beforehand). In my eyes, that was largely due to a lack of fluidity to the offense; the star on the court felt the need to take every other shot. LeBron ended the first quarter with something like 13 points, but did very little to get his teammates involved.

Dwyane Wade made his first appearance in the second quarter, which led to one of my favorite moments in the game. Wade pulls up at the three point line, and performs his patented pump fake/lunge as a way to draw the foul. Unlike in the NBA, he didn’t get the call. The play led to a turnover. Pure classic (speaking of which, they might as well have aired this game on ESPN Classic since the actual game was played so far in advance. Yes, I know, I’m overreacting to the tape delay).

While I’m on the bashing of some of the NBA’s young stars, I might as well hoop on over to the Chris Paul bandwagon... where I subsequently beat the driver of aforementioned wagon with a baseball bat. Chris Paul is quickly becoming the most overrated play in the NBA; sure, he’s a step above spectacular offensively, but he cannot stay in front of his man for the life of him (at which time I flash back to Carlos Arroyo shooting a lay-up while CP3 was still scratchin’ his head at the free throw line). At this point he isn’t even average defensively.

I think I’ve had enough mean-mouthing for this quarter. Elton Brand really showed the heart he plays with. An offensive series sticks in my mind when he fought (and I emphasize “fought”) for multiple offensive boards. Then on defense he took a big charge (it might have been Antawn Jamison, couldn’t really tell since Bill Walton and the gang made no mention of it).

As for some of the young stars, Carmelo flashed his range with some jumpers. Dwyane Wade was the exact opposite of LeBron; he made some beautiful passes. Chris Bosh (who I might be referring to as “The Neck” from now on) seemed a little antsy, but he eventually settled into the game.

The boys of the second quarter really stepped up, and it was evident with a 23 point led entering halftime (which is another thing I don’t get; can’t they just cut out the halftime on a tape delayed game? No, they make me sit through twenty minutes of ESPNews!). The defensive play and their unselfish nature was huge; call them the “Anti-First-Quarter-LeBrons.” Scratch that, it’s too long. I digress...

Really, I’m not sure why I bothered watching the second half (oh, that’s right, my boy Kirk). Team USA carried over their play from the end of the first half with a 31-2 run. That is hard to pull off, even in video games.

I really have to hand it to Coach K. He knows how to motivate a team during halftime. I wonder if he talked to LeBron about the way he was playing earlier in the game; his style changed completely. Yes, you heard it hear first, LeBron James made some nice passes in the third quarter (not including the time he tried impersonating Magic Johnson... he threw the ball away). He became motivated defensively, too. Really, he answered all of my criticisms from the first half; LBJ starting playing like he should have been all along.

Joe Johnson had a very consistent game. JJ is the type of player we need going into the World Championships; not scared to take the shot but not eager to take the shot. I was impressed with his defense as well.

I know, I’m becoming Kirk Hinrich’s pimp here, but I loved the fact that he was getting chippy with one of the Chinese players. The two were throwing quite a few forearms throughout the game. Another thing – he initiates the offensive very well. He isn’t looking to break his man down off the dribble the entire time, but instead he swings the ball around (really opens up the floor).

Really, who am I kidding, the third quarter was the Brad Miller show. He nailed 3 threes while on his way to a 5-5 shooting night. Let’s not forget his behind the back dish to Ol’ Kirk...

The end of the third quarter saw the U.S. increase their lead to 40 points. Luckily the Chinese faithful weren’t going to let a brutal loss get them down. The fourth quarter, of which the only truly noteworthy event was Joe Johnson tripping over his own feet for the third time on the night, quickly got out of hand.

Team USA didn’t let up their full court pressure, which made it hard to tell which team the Chinese fans were rooting for. It was like a scene out of the And 1 Mixtape Tour; I can vouge that the people of China have quickly mastered the art of the “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH” after every dunk (heck, replace all of the thunder sticks in the hands of the fans with shirts or some other kind of fabric, and it would be hard to differentiate Guangshou from Rucker Park minus the on court MC, but I’m sure Bill Walton will fill in: "Throw it down, big fella, throw it down!").

The U.S. only extended their lead by six points in the fourth.

For some odd reason, I just knew we were going to win 119-73 before the game even aired.

Yes! We Beat Chelsea?

I really don’t understand soccer.

Why is it a big deal that the MLS All-Stars beat Chelsea? As an American soccer “fan,” should I be doing back flips because of the victory?

Why is it a big deal that a team made up of the best players from an entire league beat a team during their preseason tour? Am I the only one that thinks it should be a given?

Sure, Chelsea is supposed to be the Yankees of soccer. As an American baseball fan, I wouldn’t be shocked if a Japanese All-Star team were to beat the Yankees; any MLB team for that matter.

I would expect it.

Could it be that the major soccer fans want us to believe American soccer is indeed taking a step forward? After their blatant pimping of the national team and their subsequent defeat, they probably are looking for a new way to prove U.S. soccer is among the elite.

I congratulate the MLS All-Stars for their victory, but I will not drink the Kool-Aid (despite the fact that writers like Andrea Canales are trying to funnel it down my throat.)

But then again, I really don’t understand soccer.

Marbury Becomes Starbury Off the Court

Stephon Marbury has taken another step towards becoming the NBA’s best "Good Guy." Earlier this week, Starbury announced he would be coming out with a new shoe which would cost all of $14.95. No matter how much I hate Stephon Marbury on the court, I cannot deny the good he does in his community.

The inexpensive sneaker is not the only good thing Stephon does. In his native New York, specifically near Coney Island, he pays seven barbers to give kids free haircuts. He has donated a million dollars to relief efforts for national disasters. Stephon Marbury is Starbury off the court.

As for his kicks, who knows if his efforts will be successful. The cheap sneaker route hasn’t been overly popular for Shaq, but it can be argued the Shaq shoe design was the reason.

If I had to make a bet now, I would be reasonably confident I would be able to win if I were to bet against Stephon. The sad fact is, in our culture, shoes are viewed as a status symbol. Who cares if the shoe is the same quality or if the price is marked up ten-fold; the cheap shoe just has to suck. Why else would shoes still fly off the shelf despite prices in excess of $100? (If you want to read some good discussion on that culture of shoes, here’s a good place to go.)

In my eyes, it is going to take a player that had a premiere expensive shoe to join Shaq and Stephon before any cheap shoe becomes successful. Just think if a player like LeBron James had the price of his shoe drop down to $14.95. In, it would sell if it had the "swoosh" and "LBJ" logo on it.

At the end of the day, we will just have to see how Stephon does in his mission. The worse he can do is shift the focus on the shoe companies for unreasonably high shoe prices.

Finally, Marbury has shown why he is Starbury off the court.

In the meantime, I will reminisce on the times in which I could get a pair of T-Mac’s for under $20... but even those were the "outdated" version. Too bad I bought my shoes on Wednesday (a deal for $30).